The Patent Dragon's Zone of Soul Retraction

Tonight's Sucky News Headlines...

...This just in - bird flu detected in dead swans, just down the coast from me.

- this was bound to happen sooner or later, but did it have to be so damn close to me? I'm not overly worried, but I don't think I'll be able to look at the swans on my exercise route the same way again.

Makes me glad I won't be travelling across the area every day to satisfy "Big Brother" Tony B.

...on the first day of his honeymoon, my brother got stung by a jellyfish, and ended up being treated in hospital.

- talk about the perfect way to start married life... not!

Right. Bed-time. I'd rather not be awake when the third of the traditional troubles that "come in threes" arrives - but if Monday's "complications" were the first of the three, you can sound the "all-clear".

Somehow, I doubt it.

Oh yeah - Gene Pitney died: does that count...?

And Finally... Didn't get much done today, so I guess I should be going to bed with a farnham...

In Today's Episode: Is the Skylance-X mission a success? See the latest chapter of The Darkhawk Diaries to find out!

I was going to spend today working on new chapters, but before I knew it, it was 4pm. Bugger...

Well and truly Farnhamed - see Douglas Adams & John Lloyd's excellent book "The Meaning Of Liff" to see what I mean!

In The News... Looks like the new Wembley Stadium won't be finished on schedule. Does that mean we won't be getting a regular season NFL game in London this coming season...?

Hunger striking Moors murderer Ian Brady has apparently written a letter to the parents of one of his victims, complaining about how he's being kept alive by force-feeding for "purely political reasons". Oh what a shame - would anyone object to him having copious amounts of electricity applied to his genitals to get him to reveal where he buried the children he murdered nearly half a century ago...?

And Finally... The Catholic Church in New Zealand are calling for a boycott of an "offensive" episode of South Park.

Oh shut up. Grow a sense of humour, and use your vast reserves of faith-generated energy to do some real good in the world for a change...

But then again, why change the habits that have served you so well for the past two thousand years?