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[personal profile] patentdragon
At The Movies: GI JOE - The Rise Of COBRA. Disclaimer I've never owned any of the toys or seen any of the cartoons this is based on - almost the same as Transformers, then. Therefore, I don't bring a simmering tornerdo ((c) Me) to the party...

Once again, we get a movie that doesn't hang about. A bit of background, then our heroes go right in the mincer summer blockbuster-style. Yes it does seem a bit convenient that there seems to be history between lead good-guy Duke and bad girl The Baroness, but it is explained, much later - honestly.

Maybe this isn't the most satisfying of movies, and maybe it lacks any proper "punch the air" moments - maybe you can't quite work out where The Baroness's pants end and her boots begin (hmph) - but the whole thing manages to deliver just the same. It does, now and again, deliver familiar moments, such as the Eiffel Tower thing (Team America World Police), and the fleet of ships attacking a big enemy base (Star Wars, several times), but the French connection (ouch) does have story significance, and how else are you going to attack a big enemy base in a big(-ish) budget action movie? Don't forget that Star Wars ripped off The Dambusters amd 633 Squadron in the first place...

Whether you're fishing for "homages", or nit-picking character or hardware details, you will be missing the whole point, just like some seem to have done with the Transformers movies. Everything points to a sequel, and if this draws in good box-office, that could be pretty spiffy. Someone is gonna need to put something up against The Marvel Tide of the next few years, starting with Iron Man II next May, and here's a possible candidate.

The Verdict Just sit down with your popcorn, put your brain in neutral, and enjoy! 7.5/10

Now excuse me as I withdraw from the field, as gracefully as my current condition will allow... oh, and might I just add FUCK ALL HACKERS AND THEIR FAKE ANTI-VIRUS SHIT.

October 2024

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